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about
This song is probably my favourite (don't tell the others!) It's about the fear of change, and seeing that you need to grow, but not quite being there yet. Then on top of that, it deals with the fear of letting others down around you when you feel like you can't change, or you don't know how to.
However, although the lyrics are quite sad, I ultimately feel like this is a hopeful song. There's a reason I include the lines "I won't step back" and "promise one day you'll be wiser and older" at the end, as I believe change can only truly come about when you realise that it needs to happen, and you commit to embracing it, even if you don't feel ready for it - the rest is just a matter of time.
So now that we're all sad and analytical, let's inject a fun fact in here about this song! When I started ideating about a music video, my ideas were initially a bit jumbled, but over time evolved into a complex backstory and lore about these two vampire siblings selling their old house. One of them wants to, but the other doesn't, and they've got too much baggage to work out to even talk about it. But the one that doesn't want to sell the house eventually starts seeing ghostly versions of their younger selves, and the traumas that the house held for them, and finally understands why their sibling wants to sell it.
The ending culminates in this big ol' "wait, don't leave!" kind of sprint through the house to get to the other sibling - very much Stranger Things, Season 3 "Running Up That Hill" scene (you know the one). Then they watch it burn just for a bit of cathartic flavour, and visual spice? Haha, I never came up with an actual ending, but I liked the idea of what vampires represented - this idea of feeling stuck one way forever, but juxtaposing that with the release of embracing the fear, and continuing to change and grow regardless of it.
lyrics
LYRICS
I’m not as strong as I’d like to be
Not as brave as I’d hoped to succeed at
I keep abandoning the places I’m needed with
One step back
Baring the weight of the hope on your shoulders
Cling to the lingering hurt in your mind
Maybe one day you’ll be wiser and older
It’s only a matter of time
I’m not as light as I’d like to be
Heavy hands, sore eyes and quick breathing
I’ll try consolidate the pain that I’m feeling with
One step back
Baring the weight of the hope on your shoulders
Cling to the lingering hurt in your mind
Maybe someday you’ll be wiser and older
It’s only a matter of time
I’m not as self assured as most think I am
I like to shy away
Hide mistakes and regrets
I deal with problems hoping I’ll get my way without
One step back
Baring the weight of the hope on your shoulders
Cling to the lingering hurt in your mind
Maybe one day you’ll be wiser and older
It’s only a matter of time
Oh I pray it’s a matter of time
I’m not the person I’d like to be
And I’m sorry for failing to see that
I’m bad at change
But I’m done with the blame
And I can’t step back
No I won’t step back
Woah____
Baring the weight of the hope on your shoulders
Cling to the lingering hurt in your mind
Maybe one day you’ll be wiser and older
And pray it’s a matter of time
Baring the weight of the hope on your shoulders
Cling to the lingering hurt in your mind
Promise one day you’ll be wiser and older
And pray it’s a matter of time
Oh I pray it’s a matter of time__________
Oh, time
Time____________
Oh I pray it’s a matter of time
Oh I pray it’s a matter of time
Yeah I pray it’s a matter of time
Oh I pray it’s a matter of time
credits
released November 30, 2023
Yasmin Omran - Violin 1
Claudia Tero - Violin 2
Tegan Finlay - Cello
Lucy Browning - Double Bass
Thank you so much to all of these lovely musicians! I was stoked to work with them, and the experience of hearing my arrangement brought to life by them for the first time is a memory I'll forever treasure. You poured so much passion into this song and it makes me so happy that others were able to connect with it in their own ways.
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